The February Church Trip continues.
A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.
A statue is fine, too.
"What a night," Gordon groaned, as he sat down at the breakfast table with Ahmed and Barry. "I've never endured hell such as this. You'd get better treatment in prison than this hotel!"
"Fancy a ghost choosing to haunt your room," Barry chuckled. "Not sure who I should feel more sorry for, you or the ghost!"
"It's not funny Barry! I was almost bloody shitting myself. It was terrifying!" Gordon snapped back.
"Aye, the sight of you in your y-fronts is enough to terrify anything!"
"That must be why it never followed you into our room," Ahmed interrupted, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Presently, Jenna and Reverend Morris entered the dining room. "Morning boys! Ooh, so you saw the ghost too? Simon and I saw him, the headless preacher!"
"Yes, he just appeared in our room when we were er,” Reverend Morris began, and then he started to blush.
"Unpacking our bags," Jenna continued. "There he was, just standing by the side of the bed. I was so scared!" She added, lying of course.
"We didn't see any ghost, but the washbasin in our room doesn't work," Josh said. "The water won't come out. Just black stuff!"
"Same here," Gordon replied. "I got a sink full of soil!"
"According to an old bloke I met in the lounge, it's not soil at all, but gunpowder." Norman said, placing a plate loaded with what looked like inedible food on the table.
"Gunpowder? That's bollocks," Barry laughed. "You're not going to eat any of that are you? I'd say there's more toxic waste on your plate than in Chernobyl."
"Hmm," Norman poked at the carcinogenic-looking sausages, which were virtually cremated. The bacon, if one could call it that, was not so much swimming in oil but drowned in it. The scrambled egg looked worse.
"Don't eat any of that scrambled egg," Gordon said. "Apart from looking like dog puke, it tastes like it too."
"Thanks," Norman grimaced, pushing the plate away. "Suddenly I've lost my appetite. I think, I'll skip breakfast and buy something to eat later.
Reverend Morris looked at Jenna and shook his head. "Well, maybe the trip to the museum will be more, enjoyable?"
She smiled back and squeezed his thigh under the table. "I'm sure it will."
The small group boarded the minibus, ready for the short journey into the center of Epworth.
"What's this place we're going to?" Jenna asked, as Reverend Morris checked his smartphone.
"Well unfortunately, the Old Rectory, which is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley, is currently closed for the winter season. It reopens in April."
A chorus of groans echoed through the bus.
Gordon rolled his eyes. "Oh this just gets better, Vicar. What travel agent offers holidays to see a museum which is closed until April, in January?"
"Oh Simon, this is so disappointing. I really wanted to see the birthplace of the Wesleys!" Jenna sighed.
"I know, I know. I'm disappointed too. As a compromise, there is another museum a few miles away, called Epworth Fields Museum. It's small, but there are some great 17th and 18th century exhibits there, so that's where we're heading."
"I'd have more fun wandering round Tesco," Gordon muttered to Barry."
"I'd have more fun with the vicar's wife," Barry replied.
"Oho! You've changed your tune. What happened to 'dream on, she's way too old for you?' You're older than I am!"
"Yes well, that was before." Barry paused.
"Before what?"
Barry took a deep breath. "Look, if I tell you, promise me you won't say anything?"
"I'm all ears," Gordon said. "And relax, your secret's safe with me."
Barry started whispering and told his cousin about the fateful gloryhole encounter.
Epworth Fields Museum was a three-story Georgian building would never rival the British Museum or the Tower of London in terms of interesting exhibits, but it was better than nothing. An added bonus was that entry was free.
After looking round some of the rooms, the group split up and began doing their own thing. Reverend Morris was engaged in a long conversation with a member of staff, who was also a vicar. Feeling bored, Jenna wandered off. She wondered where Gordon and the others had gone. Horniness was gnawing at her again. She headed towards the south end of the second floor. At the end of the long corridor, she pushed through a heavy door and stepped onto a landing. She descended the stairs, her footsteps echoing off the painted walls. The sound was so hollow and cold that she might have been in a vast pyramid or some other ancient structure, alone but for the companionship of unseen spirits.
Being a cold Tuesday morning in January, the museum was severely lacking in visitors. The place had an abandoned air, and she was suddenly aware that she was alone on this floor. As she reached for the handle of the door that led to the first-floor corridor, she thought she heard someone whisper her name. Jenna went through the door and found that the lower corridor was carpeted in the same hideous orange nylon as was the upper one. The decorator had a clown's taste for bright colors. It made her squint.
"Pretty sure this isn't authentic 18th century," she said to herself. A display board caught her eye. It was all about John and Charles Wesley. She recognized their portraits immediately.
"It was an honor to meet you last year John," Jenna said, smiling at the portrait of the white-haired Methodist minister. "Wish I could've met your brother as well, I wonder if his cock is as big as yours?" She pulled out her smartphone and took a photo of the images.
Suddenly, she heard the door at the head of the stairs open with a faint but protracted squeak of hinges. She stepped back, expecting someone to descend from the second floor, but no-one appeared.
"Huh, weird," she said. Without thinking, Jenna leaned against the wood-paneled wall, which was actually a concealed doorway. It suddenly opened, and Jenna screamed as she went tumbling into a dark passage. The wood-paneled door slid shut behind her, and nothing but her smartphone remained on the floor of the corridor,
Jenna staggered to her feet. "Where am I? Looks like there's some sort of secret room here, oh wow, I can't see a thing in here!"
A light clicked on. Jenna assumed it was a motion-activated sensor. The small room was crammed with furniture that was covered in dust sheets. Old exhibits that the museum no longer wished to display, damaged stuff, spare panels. It reminded her of the storeroom in the church hall.
"I'd better get out of here, there might be CCTV or something." The last thing she wanted was to be accused of stealing.
"Oh I assure you, we are completely unobserved," a male voice uttered.
"Who said that?" Jenna spun round. She appeared to be alone in the room. Was there a hidden microphone somewhere?"
"Over here," the voice said again. "In the corner."
Jenna cautiously walked around the shrouded furniture. "Where are you?"
"Right in front of you my dear!"
Jenna looked straight ahead. A six-foot tall bronze statue of a man was standing in the corner. As she looked closely, she realized that it was a statue of Charles Wesley.
"Oh, a statue of Charles!" She exclaimed, reaching out to touch it, and the statue's mouth relaxed into a smile.
"Greetings Jenna."
"Eep!" Jenna stumbled backwards and almost tripped over a chair.
"My apologies for scaring you. I thought you wished to meet me," the statue replied.
"My dear brother John has told me so much about you."
Jenna blinked, her jaw dropping. "He has?"
"Indeed yes! He told me you were a very special lady. Not many could unleash such a power as to return a trapped soul back to God's realm. It's an honor to meet you. I just had to meet you!"
"It's an honor to meet you too Charles! I love your hymns! How, are you a statue? And why has the museum shoved you in this dusty little storeroom? You should be on display."
Charles chuckled. "Oh I assure you I'm not actually a statue. I just sort of possessed this statue so I could have a solid body, as it were."
"Hmm, I see." Jenna wondered how this could be. After all, John had been perfectly solid when he'd appeared as a ghost. Evidently all ghosts were different.
"My statue has been in this room for a long time," Charles continued. "My plinth is damaged. And I'm missing one of my fingers on my left hand, look!" He raised his hand. "It broke off. I suppose that is why the museum shoved me in here? Maybe they forgot about me, or couldn't afford the repairs?"
Jenna was dismayed that a statue of her favorite historical figure had been dumped in storage like an unwanted toy.
"I wonder if the museum would let me buy your statue? How magnificent you'd look, standing in the vicarage's garden!"
"You'd really do that for me?"
"Of course I would! I'm sure your plinth can be easily fixed. We have an enormous garden, you could stand next to the sundial. And every year, I could put a wreath by your plinth to honor your birthday, "
"Mmm, may I kiss you Jenna?" The statue whispered, and Jenna smirked back at him.
"I thought you'd never ask!"
Charles kissed her cheek. "A man should always respond to a lady in a polite manner." Now Jenna was curious at just how this was going to unfold.
He took her gently in his arms and kissed her jawline and neck with a tenderness and passion that one would never expect a statue to have.
Jenna wanted to speak, but couldn't. His kisses were intoxicating, and she was powerless to resist.
Not caring that another member of staff could enter the storeroom at any time, Jenna allowed Charles to undress her. He pulled her to the floor and unfastened his breeches.
"Oh, just as big as John's!" said Jenna, marveling as she took in the sight of Charles' enormous cock for the first time. The moisture between her legs had now grown so great that it actually began to drip down the inside of her thigh.
"I'll be gentle, my dearest one," the statue smiled.
He shifted his position again, placed one hand beside her shoulder and advanced his knees between Jenna's parted lower limbs. In his other hand, he took his member and placed it at the entry to her cunt. He paused a moment and pushed forward. Jenna gave a brief wince, he was huge, and his cock, being made of bronze, was damned cold at first! Charles began to thrust.
He pulled his hips back so that his hard cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. Jenna moaned at the sensation of him moving in her.
"Oh yes, please. More!"
The feel of her wet flesh slipping over his sensitive head and shaft sent a shiver through him and he grunted from the pleasure of it.
Suddenly, Jenna's eyes opened wide in surprise and delight and she gasped. She moaned and wrapped her legs around Charles to rock herself against him. She breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out loud as she climaxed and writhed beneath him.
"Ah, ah, ah!"
Charles felt his cock aching with the rising and uncontrollable tide of approaching release. He shouted his delight as he spurted his cum deep inside her.
"Ahh Jenna! Praise the Lord!"
The trip to the museum had come to an end. Reverend Morris and the rest of the group had assembled in the foyer.
"Okay everyone, time to head back to the minibus. Are we all here? Oh wait, where's Jenna?"
"Haven't seen her since we arrived," Gordon said. "Maybe she's still upstairs?"
"I'll ring her phone," the vicar replied. It rang for a bit and then went to voicemail.
"Hmm, she's not answering. Right, I'll go and look for her."
In the storeroom, tired and sweaty, Jenna still had her arms wrapped round the statue of Charles Wesley.
"Ooh I so needed that," she whispered, enjoying the sensation of cold bronze against her bare skin. "Charles are you, Charles?" Jenna opened her eyes and stood up. The statue was no longer alive, but just a normal statue.
"Did I send him back to the other side?" She wondered, as she got dressed. "Oh well. I finally got to meet Charles Wesley, and he was amazing! She planted a kiss on the statue's cheek. "I have got to liberate you from this storeroom!"
Reverend Morris hurried along the first floor corridor. "Jenna, where are you? It's time to leave! Oh!" He noticed an iPhone on the carpet.
"Why that's her phone!" He bent down and picked it up. "Oh God, what's happened to her?"
Suddenly, a concealed door in the wall paneling creaked open and Jenna appeared. Reverend Morris almost had a heart attack.
"Oh hello my love!" Jenna said. "Have you been looking for me? Sorry, I couldn't find the way back out and I dropped my phone."
"That's okay, I'm just glad you're safe," Reverend Morris replied, handing her phone back. "What were you doing in there?"
"I just sort of fell into this hidden room," Jenna smiled, fiddling with her hair. "Listen Simon, there's a statue of Charles Wesley in there. Do you think the museum would sell it to me?"
Later,
"Most people are content with an overpriced mug or chocolates from the gift shop," Ahmed said as he, Josh and Barry loaded the statue of Charles Wesley onto the minibus. "First time I've ever seen someone buy a statue as a souvenir!"
"I just had to buy him," Jenna smiled. "I thought £300 was an absolute bargain. The statue dates back to 1925. It used to stand in the museum lobby, but it got damaged and they put it in storage nearly twenty years ago."
"Definitely a bargain," Reverend Morris replied. "You're an expert at haggling! I didn't think they'd agree to sell it, but the staff seemed glad to be rid of it! You're right, he will look lovely standing in the garden. Mr. Wesley was such a good Christian and hymn writer, so a vicarage garden is perfect for him!"
"I'm so glad Charles is coming to a good home," Jenna said. First a ghost and now a statue. This holiday is turning out to be great fun! She thought.
At the back of the bus, the statue gave a wink.
How not to ring church bells.
The final day of the trip had arrived.
"Won't be sorry to see the back of this hotel," Gordon moaned as he lumbered into the dining room. "I feel like leaving a one-star review on Trip Advisor! I didn't sleep a wink last night, given that I had to sleep on the floor."
Barry looked irritated. "You know, there was no reason why you couldn't have returned to your own room. The vicar went in and said some prayers. I'm sure that ghost wouldn't have returned."
"I wasn't prepared to take any chances!"
"You could've slept in our room, Gordon," Josh said. "There's a sofa in it."
"Well fat lot of good that does me now! Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"
"Um yeah. I guess I, er, forgot."
Reverend Morris appeared. "Good morning everyone! Now I'm hoping we can be back home by 4pm. I'm sure you'd all like join me in thanking our wonderful bus driver Ahmed for bringing us here in the first place."
There was a round of applause. Ahmed stood up and bowed.
"Cheers guys. It's been, an experience driving you all!"
"Excellent," the reverend continued. "I know this short holiday hasn't been the most exciting trip, but I'm glad you all came. Alpha and Omega are a small company and they've really struggled during the pandemic, "
"Any chance they'll start doing holidays to Benidorm?" Gordon piped up. "We could have a pilgrimage, visiting the pubs."
The vicar rolled his eyes. "You know they only do religious-themed breaks, Gordon. Also they only do breaks within the UK or to overseas territories."
"I thought Benidorm was a British overseas territory," Gordon replied.
"No you daft sod, it's the place with the rock," Barry whispered.
"Blackpool?"
"Gibraltar."
"Oh."
Seeing as we have plenty of time, I thought we'd make our journey back a bit more exciting. There's a lovely little church I'd like you all to see. It's got a delightful bell tower."
The group had a distinct lack of excitement, but tried to look interested.
"Well I think it's been a lovely short break," Jenna said, trying to inject some enthusiasm. "I've really enjoyed myself. Especially that visit to the museum yesterday. A good thing the other place was closed, otherwise I'd never have got my beautiful statue of Charles Wesley!"
The church of St. Mary was a quaint little place of worship. It was even smaller than St. Michael's.
"Ooh it's just like those you see in episodes of Father Brown," Jenna smiled. "The tower is really narrow."
Reverend Morris nodded. "Indeed it is. We're going up there to have a go at ringing the bells, there are only two bells. I spoke to Father Julian on the phone earlier. Only two people can fit into the tower, so we'll have to go up in pairs."
"I take it there's only two bell ringers?"
"Yes, although apparently there was an occasion when one person rang both bells all by himself!"
The minibus pulled up outside the church, and the group filed in.
"Ah, greetings to you all!" A small, withered old man smiled, who wouldn't have looked out of place in a Charles Dickens novel.
"Thanks for allowing us to partake in this very special exercise, Father Julian," Reverend Morris said, shaking the old man's hand.
"Not at all! A pleasure to have visitors here at our church. "We don't get a lot at this time of year. Right, if you'd all like to follow me, and I'll lead you to the bell tower. It is a truly unique tower, I trust all of you are able bodied persons? The tower is accessed by a ladder, "
"Did he say a ladder?" Gordon said, looking uneasy. "Uh-oh."
"Right, as Reverend Morris has already explained, the tower has a maximum capacity of two people, so if you'd like to buddy up," Father Julian said. "Reverend, I'll take you up and show you the ropes as it were, unless you'd prefer to go up with your wife?"
"Oh it's okay, you go first, Simon," Jenna smiled. "I don't mind bell ringing with,” she glanced at Barry. "Someone else, "
"Fine by me," Reverend Morris replied. "Lead the way, Father."
Father Julian scrambled up the ladder with the agility of a mountain goat. "Just follow me. It's quite high. And the hatch is a bit of a squeeze.
"I'm not going up there!" Gordon muttered. "Just looking up at that is bringing on my vertigo and claustrophobia."
Reverend Morris spent a good ten minutes taking photos and having a go at ringing the two bells.
"Gosh that was fun! I really enjoyed that. I'm sure the others will too. Lovely view of the Lincolnshire countryside. Bell ringing is much harder than it looks! I attempted to ring the bells at my church once, didn't do a very good job, alas!"
Bishop Julian and Reverend Morris descended the ladder.
"Right, who wants to go next? Jenna and Gordon, how about you?"
Gordon gulped. "Er, actually I think I'll sit this one out if you don't mind. Ladders and tiny spaces are a phobia of mine. I had this traumatic experience with a cathedral organ many years ago. I had to climb up into the organ loft and I ended up spending a whole weekend inside it."
Sniggering broke out amongst the others.
"I read this article online about a guy in Florida who was an organist," Norman said. "He died after he shoved one of the organ pipes up his, "
"Um yes, I don't think that's a suitable story for inside a church!" Reverend Morris interrupted, as Father Julian listened intently.
"I wonder if the pipe would've played a note if the man had broken wind? I mean, a fart is air, isn't it? And it comes out at high pressure." Father Julian wondered. "I wouldn't advise inserting an organ pipe up one's rear. Most tend to be made of lead, which is an extremely toxic metal. I assume lead poisoning is what killed the unfortunate fellow?"
"No Father. He died from a ruptured colon. He shoved the pipe too far in."
"It's alright Gordon," Jenna interrupted. "I'll go up with Barry. We'll take some photos of the bells for you."
"Thanks. Is there a pipe organ in this church? I think that would interest me a lot more."
"Ah no pipe organ here, I'm afraid," Father Julian replied. "We don't have the space. In the 18th century, there was a clavichord. But nowadays we have a Yamaha electric piano."
Gordon looked horrified. "A church without an organ? Sacrilege! Er, I mean, what a shame."
"You're welcome to exercise your fingers on the piano," Father Julian said.
"Eh well, go on then."
Father Julian gave Jenna and Barry a brief instruction on bell ringing before they ascended the ladder.
"I won't say ladies first," Barry said. "Talk like that gets you in trouble these days."
However Jenna had already decided to go first. "Don't mind if I do, Barry!" She began climbing the ladder, and seemed oblivious to the fact that the short skirt she was wearing afforded Barry an up-skirter's ultimate fantasy. He cleared his throat as he began following her up the ladder.
"White panties, Umm, my favorite," he mused to himself. "A view one could never get tired of." His glasses started steaming up.
"Blimey, bit of a tight squeeze in here, isn't it?" Barry said, as he finally made it through the hatch and into the bell ringing chamber. Not much bigger than a toilet cubicle is it?" He put heavy emphasis on the words 'toilet cubicle.'
"It's nice and intimate," Jenna said, winking at him. "Nice big pair," she said, looking at the bells.
"A little birdy told me you're good at playing instruments."
"I play the piano, oh and Gordon's been teaching me to play the organ."
"Mmm, yes. And he likes it when you play his 'little organ' too, am I right?"
"You seem to know a lot about me, Barry." Jenna grinned. "I think that little birdy must have been Gordon."
"Oh he told me many interesting things about you. Your 21st birthday surprise in the church, for example. Now I'm a humble agnostic. But I think I've seen the light and I'm eager to join the Church of Jenna. But I need some help. What do I have to do to be accepted into this special church of yours?"
Jenna walked up to him and ran a finger down his cheek. "Worship me."
At that moment, Barry became a born-again worshipper.
He kissed Jenna, slowly forcing her over until she fell back, this incredible feeling of his lips on hers. His head dropped to her breasts as his hands expertly sought out her darkest place. She felt a surge of electricity as his tongue ravished her nipples, his hand under her skirt, sliding her wet panties aside.
"Oh Barry. I think I'd better try and ring one of these bells."
She pulled hard on the rope as his fingers delved in and out of her, her climax on the teetering brink of oblivion as the electricity shocked her nerves and her vaginal muscles clenched around his index finger while his thumb nudged her clit slowly.
"One of them isn't putting much effort in!" Reverend Morris remarked as he and the others heard a single bell being rung. "I bet Jenna's the one doing all the work."
Jenna saw Barry smile as she reached orgasm. Damn, this man was skilled with his fingers! With one arm under hers, he half-lifted her until she was lying against his body on the floor of the bell tower.
With that Jenna straddled him as she sat down on his lap, facing him and wrapping her arms around his neck. She couldn't stop herself and immediately reached for a kiss and her hips begin to grind slowly. Barry was startled a little by her gestures but couldn't resist.
"Jenna," he murmured, kissing her earlobe.
His hands started feeling down her back and they squeezed her arse. She kissed his jawline and whispered something rude in his ear. He chuckled.
"Vixen, "
She felt him thrust up against her as he groaned and she could feel how hard he was.
"You're really not the typical vicar's wife," Barry murmured. His hands started unbuttoning her top as her fingers began to unfasten his trousers. Her kisses got more passionate and hungry.
Barry pulled away for a moment and unfastened Jenna's bra, her breasts springing forth. His hands began to caress them, squeezing them, running his palms up and down, feeling them jiggle as his thumbs rubbed her nipples. She breathed heavily, but stayed quiet and sucked on her lower lip to mute her desire to moan. It only turned Barry on further. He gave a quick tug on one of the bell ropes.
Jenna freed Barry's cock from his boxer shorts and started teasing the head by sliding it up and down her tingling clit.
"Does he look familiar?" He asked.
"Hmm?"
Barry grinned. "Gloryhole in Excelsis?"
Her jaw dropped. "That was you?"
"Yes." He grabbed his shaft and slid it inside, thrusting himself up into her. The sensations sparked pleasure all through Jenna's body. She started riding him slow and choppy, feeling him deep inside her, feeling shocks of pleasure with each thrust. At the same time, he pulled hard on the bell rope.
"And they say men can't multi-task," Barry panted, as he rang the bell whilst fucking the vicar's wife at the same time.
Jenna laughed and gasped. He felt so amazing and hot inside her. He fucked her hard. She started going faster and faster, unable to stop the momentum, the high getting higher and sweeter. His face showed total animalistic lust and want.
"Ahh!" she groaned.
There was no stopping the rush of Jenna's second orgasm. The sensations filled her body as her face flushed. She opened her eyes and gazed into Barry's. He felt her climaxing and the amazing amount of wetness dripping from her. She was squirting all over the place. He closed his eyes as he climaxed too and filled her with his cum.
Slowly, he withdrew his cock. Jenna was breathless.
"Well, Barry, I am pleased to say, you have been accepted into my church!"
"Good Lord, how hard were you yanking those ropes?" Norman and Josh said, as Jenna and Barry descended the ladder, looking extremely sweaty.
"Bell ringing is extremely hard work!" Jenna panted. "You don't need to go to a gym to have a great upper body workout!"
